During a divorce, or a separation, we often focus on the children and giving them "things".
The children can often become the sole reason for many of the things that we do and become more central to our life than they were before, when we were 'together'.
It's almost like we decide to live for them. But how many inspirational quotes and images have you seen that re-inforce that your children don't need 'things' or 'trips' they need your time, your love and your example.
So, in fact, the best thing you can give them, is the best "You" that you are able to.
A You who is relaxed, knows where he's going, is happy and confident to care for them and loves himself enough to be able to love them unconditionally.
A You who respects himself enough to know his boundaries and limits and can stand by them, calmly, with and for his children, so they can see a man of honour, peace and direction.
That's not always easy when your ex, seems to be undermining, arguing and generally making things as difficult as possible for you, but even then, you have an opportunity to show them how to treat people with respect, even if you're not enjoying what they are doing - Not Easy - but Not Impossible either.
It is worth remembering, that to give your children the best "You" that you can be, you actually need to be working on "You".
Taking care of You.
Listening to what You have to say & acting on it.
Working on recognising and managing the emotions that You have
Doing the things that You know you need to do (even if they're frightening).
Sometimes this can take time, sometimes it can take money. It will always take some effort on your part, and enough strength to stop for a moment and actually do it.
At the very least, give something to yourself, so you can give your children what they need most - the best You, that you can be.
Ben
The children can often become the sole reason for many of the things that we do and become more central to our life than they were before, when we were 'together'.
It's almost like we decide to live for them. But how many inspirational quotes and images have you seen that re-inforce that your children don't need 'things' or 'trips' they need your time, your love and your example.
So, in fact, the best thing you can give them, is the best "You" that you are able to.
A You who is relaxed, knows where he's going, is happy and confident to care for them and loves himself enough to be able to love them unconditionally.
A You who respects himself enough to know his boundaries and limits and can stand by them, calmly, with and for his children, so they can see a man of honour, peace and direction.
That's not always easy when your ex, seems to be undermining, arguing and generally making things as difficult as possible for you, but even then, you have an opportunity to show them how to treat people with respect, even if you're not enjoying what they are doing - Not Easy - but Not Impossible either.
It is worth remembering, that to give your children the best "You" that you can be, you actually need to be working on "You".
Taking care of You.
Listening to what You have to say & acting on it.
Working on recognising and managing the emotions that You have
Doing the things that You know you need to do (even if they're frightening).
Sometimes this can take time, sometimes it can take money. It will always take some effort on your part, and enough strength to stop for a moment and actually do it.
At the very least, give something to yourself, so you can give your children what they need most - the best You, that you can be.
Ben
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